Day 24

Finally, New York!!!

In New York, Nikita met me, explained how the subway works here, told me about life in New York, etc. Like how nobody cares how or when you cross the street, nobody cares about illegal immigrants—cops can drive past a bunch of illegal Chinese immigrants and just wave. We arrived at the apartment in Brooklyn, dropped off our stuff, and walked around the local neighborhood. One street is Mexicans, the next is Jews, then Arabs, Chinese, Koreans, etc. You can see anyone you want. He showed me where the laundromats are, although there's nothing to show since they are every two shops. We waited for the landlord and met him; I'll tell you about him later (he's a very interesting character). He gave me 100 bucks from the rent money so I could buy a bed, since sleeping on the floor isn't great. Actually, I slept on a mat the first day; he decided to joke and said 'like a dog.' I looked at him with a stern gaze, and he realized the joke didn't land—the drumroll was late.

Day 25

My first day in New York. As soon as I woke up, I decided to go for a Social Security number. I got there, saw a line like I'd never seen before, turned around, and went back home. I walked around the local streets and alleys; it felt like I'd arrived in China—nothing but Chinese people. They say something to you in their language and smile, for example, 'Kun ldyu chao?' 'Em what?' and they smile exactly like in anime cartoons, closing their eyes and opening their mouths to the full diameter. I came home, and Nikita and I decided to walk to Prospect Park, which is a 30-minute walk. It took us 2 hours because he forgot the way. We walked there for 10 minutes and headed home. I thought, 'Well, since we know the way now, we'll get home faster.' It took us 2 and a half hours. In the park, we stared at fat and ugly American women. Now I understand why, when our people arrive, they get marriage proposals immediately... As Nikita said, 'Why are you surprised they're ugly here? In past centuries, they burned all the beautiful ones; if you're beautiful, you're a witch.'

Day 26

Today I decided to head to the center in search of work. I started my journey, as funny as it may sound, from Wall Street. 'What if?' I thought. I walked the whole street, then headed to Broadway. I scoured all of Lower Manhattan and found nothing. Then I called one of our organizers, Anya, and we decided to meet. She tried to explain how to look for work here. I went to a ton of shops and various eateries looking for any kind of work, only to hear 'NO.' I decided to go to Nikita at Times Square. We walked through various shops, gorged ourselves on M&Ms, swiped a couple of bags totaling 80 bucks, and went to the World Trade Center, or rather, what was left of it. After walking among the skyscrapers, we went home, uploaded the photos, and posted them on VKontakte.

Day 27

I started looking for work on Craigslist, a local job search site. I found ads saying they needed security guards, they provide training, etc. What put me off was the overly bright and inviting advertising, just like multi-level marketing, something like: 'IF YOU ARE NOT EMPLOYED? COME TO US WE WILL DO IT, U WILL EARN 15 DOLLARS PER HOUR.' All the ads were like that. I called, they scheduled an interview. I asked how much the training costs, and they told me 80 bucks. Well, okay, I went to the interview. They gave me a form, I filled it out, and we started talking. They began asking the same questions they once asked me in MLM: 'How much do you want to earn? Are you ready to sacrifice something for a good salary?' etc. I answered positively to all questions, and he started writing down what licenses, permits, and certificates I needed to get and what training I had to undergo. Then he started writing down how much I had to pay. He drew the already mentioned figure of 80 and added 727 bucks to it. He says, 'Pay, and you will earn 12 dollars an hour.' I said I'm a poor student from Russia, I have nothing here, and I thought I only needed to pay 80 bucks. Then it turned out 80 is just the starting amount, and after that, you need to pay 727. He looked at me and said, 'WELL, OKAY, but this is just for you, pay half, 360, and you'll get 10 dollars.' I said, 'I don't even have that much, I have my last 80 dollars and that's it.' His look turned sad, I realized it was time to end this, and said, 'Give me your business card and I will call you later.' He gave me the card, and I went home upset. I looked at more ads, found nothing useful, and decided to buy Russian newspapers, maybe someone is needed there. But they only need nannies and cleaners, and everywhere they need girls; not a word about guys. I got upset again and went to sleep with the phrase in my head: 'Loader, loader, a hardworking guy, loader, loader, carries, puts, and drags.'

Day 28

I found a few phone numbers for companies that need loaders. I called them, and they told me to come on Monday. I realized that security guard thing is a no-go, but I shouldn't stop at loaders either; it's just for the first time. I sat around browsing job sites and found nothing. Nikita came home from work, and we decided to go eat M&Ms, and take some with us. We got home, ate, and looked at where else we could go.

Day 29

Today I decided to go to Central Park to see what it's like. Central Park is a big green rectangle in the middle of skyscrapers, with 2 large lakes where a ton of people are floating in boats. I feel like they'll install traffic lights there too, because while I was walking around the lake, everyone kept bumping into each other, and all you could hear was purely American 'I'm sorry,' 'Excuse me.' I walked from the center of the park to its southern border; there are painting vendors and caricature artists along the perimeter. The most popular painting there is Sylvester Stallone; they draw him in every possible way. In the square near 5th Avenue, black guys were breakdancing to Michael Jackson's music, most likely due to the artist's recent death, because even on Times Square they are playing his clips instead of Panasonic ads. When I went to buy newspapers for work, all the front pages were filled with this news, and only 2 days later, the apartment owner—a degenerate (I'll explain why later)—asked, 'Wait, did Michael Jackson die?' After the park, I decided to look at the Statue of Liberty. I remembered my seatmate on the plane to New York from Moscow, who put the stress interestingly; he said not 'stAtue' but 'statUe.' So, I headed to the statUe of Liberty, arrived by subway to the ferry. There was just a ton of people, you could say the whole Times Square came to look at the statUe. I thought there probably wouldn't be enough ferry for so many people; I just hadn't seen what kind of ferry it would be, I still had the image of a Barnaul riverboat in my mind. A huge 3-story ferry arrived, which could hold such a crowd multiplied by 3. I immediately ran (like many people) to the top floor and to the side that would pass by the statue, took photos of the receding skyscrapers and the statUe, and returned to the other side, which looks at Governor's Island. I came home, talked to a Tajik guy, he told me where he used to work, how he was in the army—in short, he told me what he had already told 100 times. Nikita came, told me how he walked around Times Square, I left him the laptop, and I went to sleep.

Day 30

Again, job searches, newspapers, websites, walking around the city. I came home, and Yura had a disaster—2 eggs went missing. He started interrogating everyone, roughly like this. To be honest, we were laughing all day, and Yura didn't understand why we were laughing. In general, he asked something like: 'Did you happen to take my eggs? Because I lost 2 eggs, I can't find them anywhere.' Nikita and I started laughing. He went with a complaint to Parvis, since we didn't touch his eggs. We heard: 'Parvis, why did you take my eggs? If you take them, put them back.' I was already under the table. Parvis replied: 'Yura, what's wrong with you? You lost your eggs, look, maybe they rolled under the sofa.' Yura: 'It's not about the eggs anymore, you constantly take my things and groceries without asking.' In short, we went to our corners. Nikita went to the city closer to the evening, I continued to call about work. Yura came from the store, and Parvis met him with the phrase: 'Well, Yura, did you find your eggs?' 'No.' Parvis went into the room laughing throughout the apartment. In general, it was a fun day. Maybe it's not that funny in text, but when you see and hear it all, I was just dying of laughter.

Day 31

Today I was calling again, running around, searching, calling, running around, searching. I started calling moving companies—those that handle relocations. I typed 'moving' into Google and started calling all the numbers. Some asked me to leave my phone number, others told me the company is closing—crisis, etc., others said there are no spots, others were city-type and only hire by offer, and others—that's 3%—told me to come so they could look at me and talk. In short, an interview for a loader job. Is it funny to you? But here, some companies require 10 years of dishwasher experience to work. You know how I laughed when I called and they told me to bring a resume for a cleaner position? America, damn it. In short, they scheduled meetings for tomorrow. Nikita came home, told me about work, I got jealous, and then Parvis enters, as always trying to help us, and says to me: 'Ivan, I have a couple of phone numbers for employment agencies, they will place you 100% and you will work there all summer 100%.' I didn't think long and took the phone. Why did I think? Because agencies ask for 40 bucks for job searching, and you have to pay them your first week's salary. So you have to look for agencies here that won't scam you after the first week. I called these 100% ones, and they told me there is no work right now. Parvis returned after a run and said: 'Ivan, I just saw 'Help Wanted' ads.' 'Help Wanted?' 'Yeah, Wanted.' 'In short, go down the street I always run on, and there are ads opposite the church.' I asked him which street he runs on, but he doesn't remember himself. The main thing is that he runs on this street every day. You just approach any passerby and say: 'Do you happen to know where the street is that a bearded Tajik runs on every day?' 'Of course!! There it is!' But we had other information—opposite the church. Nikita knew where the church was, and we headed to it, walked all around, went into all the shops, no ads. We returned, Parvis asked: 'Well?' 'Nothing.' 'Hmm, probably they took them down.' We ate, laughed, and went to sleep. Tomorrow I have many more places to visit.

Day 32

Today was a very fun day, especially towards the evening. So, I had interviews planned from 8 o'clock. I called the companies to see if everything was still on, and only one company said yes, everything is fine, come. I went to the Bronx. I hadn't seen so many black people in a long time. When I got out of the subway, 2 gangsta n-words were walking down the street, they even greeted me like this: 'What's up snowflake.' I didn't like the neighborhood. I ran to the office, a man met me and immediately introduced me to the whole team: 'Hey guys, this is a guy from Russia, Ivan.' 'What's up.' He took me into the office, and the interrogation began: 'Work experience? Where? Company name? What did you do? How much did you earn? How long did you work? Why did you leave?' And then the final test I wasn't ready for: he led me to a box and said: 'Rap.' 'Sorry, what?' 'Rap this s***.' 'I don't understand what you want from me.' 'Alright man, you have no work experience, I have nothing for you, but listen, you can walk down 2 blocks and there will be another company, ask for a job there.' 'Ok, thanks.' I reached that company, they told me I was too thin, they needed guys or men 180cm tall and 100kg. They sent me to another one, there was no work there, then another company, and they also needed work experience. I went home upset. Nikita came, and the fun evening began. He started telling stories from his life related to his voice, since he has a very high-pitched voice, and those who talked to him on the phone thought it was a girl. He says when he called about work, a man picked up, and Nikita asked to invite the employment manager, and the man called him saying: 'It's for you.' 'Who is it?' 'I don't know, but some pleasant female voice.' He told me he was already used to it and even played pranks on New Year's. Some guy called him and said: 'Can I hear Tanya?' 'You got the wrong number.' 'And what's your name?' Nikita, without thinking long, said: 'Sveta.' 'Oh, beautiful name.' 'I like it too.' I laughed for a long time from that moment, the whole story. In short, they found out where they live, what their parents do, and the guy invited Sveta, i.e., Nikita, on a date, and Nikita replied: 'No, sorry, it's icy now and I'm in heels.' In short, he told a couple more stories, and then Parvis came and said: 'Did you go to look at the ads where I told you yesterday?' I'll say right away, try reading his lines with a terrible Tajik accent, like in 'Nasha Russia': 'Did you go? Didn't find them?' 'How didn't you find them? I was running just now and those ads were hanging there. Go down the street I always run on, what's not clear? There's also a church nearby.' 'We were at that church and there was nothing there.' 'Aaah, no, not that one, but another one, there's also some white thing nearby wrapped in some thing.' We could barely hold back our laughter. In short, he explained it to us, and I decided to look for these ads tomorrow. We went to the center since we ran out of M&Ms and needed to swipe 2 more bags. I did everything I needed, and we went back. When Nikita rides the subway, he looks at everyone very carefully, opening his eyes wide and pretending to chew something. I decided to parody him, he laughed half the way. We arrived at one in the morning.

Day 33

Again, I walked, called, wrote. I started calling all the moving companies. For tomorrow, they told me to come to one called Flatrate and bring a resume. I compiled a resume, wrote to several more companies for all positions that exist. In short, the day was very boring. Nikita came, we went for groceries, and as always, I filled out a job application form there. But that doesn't give anything; they need these forms just in case, when an employee quits or gets fired, they will call.

Day 34

Today I read several Russian forums about working in New York, corresponded with people who had been looking for work here for a month, and they gave me the phone number of a good employment agency. I called, went there, and they said interviews would start on Monday because it's holidays now. Coming home, Parvis met me and said: 'Listen, why are you sitting at home all the time? Go look for work.' 'Parvis, I'm running around looking, calling, today I went to an agency.' 'AAAA, that's all crap.' 'Here is the address of a bakery, they need assistants for 5 dollars an hour, but only night work, and it's very hard, and far, and this and that.' Nikita came, and we went to our park to take photos, but it was already evening, and the photos didn't turn out well, so we postponed it to the morning.

Day 35

Today we decided to walk around the city, but first we went to our park to photograph the view of Manhattan. After the park, we went home to have a snack, and I decided to look at places where movies were filmed here and take photos. And purely by accident, I turned on the 'Requiem for a Dream' clip, and there was a bridge that was shown about 10 times in the movie. Nikita saw it and said: 'Oh, so that's Brighton.' We got ready and went there. I saw this bridge, but there were just a ton of people, so we decided to come tomorrow. We walked along Brighton Beach, almost everywhere there are Russians in banks, shops, a bunch of Russian homeless people, they ask for change in 2 languages. Then we went to Manhattan, and after that home. It's kind of boring living without work.

Day 36

Today is Independence Day. We decided to walk around Manhattan to see the situation in the city on their most important day of the year. We saw a few inadequate Americans, but first we decided to go see the morning Brighton and photograph this bridge without people, although there were people there, mostly fishermen, and there were even tents, i.e., someone spent the night on this bridge. We took photos and saw how they arranged a photo shoot for some model on the shore. All the fishermen ran to the edge and started their own shoot, then the cops joined them. After Brighton, we went to Manhattan, and that's when the fun started. For example, we are walking along Broadway, and there are all sorts of boutiques and shops along the whole street, and 2 girls are walking towards us. They approach the window and scream at the top of their squeaky voices: 'OH MY GOD WHOLE SHOP IN SALE AAAAAAAA.' That meant there was a sale in the whole store...

We went into famous boutiques: Gucci, Armani, Versace, Prada, and so on. Don't think anything, I personally went there for fun. They opened the door for us, treated us like some kind of oligarchs. Since my English was better, I started asking how much the items cost that already had 'SOLD' signs on them, i.e., someone had already bought them and they were waiting for the customer to pick them up. I approach some suit and ask: 'How much will it be for me?' '5000 dollars but it is already sold.' 'That's a pity, I'm late.' And so for many things. I tried on glasses for 300 bucks from Armani, and in short, all sorts of expensive clothes, pretending I wanted to buy them. As soon as we go out to the street—we laugh. In short, we had a fun walk through the shops. We arrived home closer to the evening, and I went to watch the fireworks. It was very beautiful, but we saw little, the skyscrapers were blocking the view.

Day 37

Today we had exercise planned first. We went to our park, where it was already packed with Chinese, Koreans, and Japanese. I thought everyone would be doing martial arts, and I thought I'd join in, but everyone was dancing and doing some kind of aerobics. And when I started hitting the iron poles with my hands and feet, they looked at me very surprised. After the exercise, we went to the Metropolitan Museum. There are a bunch of exhibits from different periods of history and different cultures. I wanted to get into the Japanese, Indian, Egyptian, Tibetan, and Chinese wings. We took photos and went home. Here we decided that since the weather is good, we need to get together for the beach. We went to Brighton Beach, arrived, saw a bunch of people, mostly Mexicans, and the same amount of trash. I was surprised, are there really no trash cans here? They were there, but all full, even spilling out of them. We lay down, got cold, and went home.