• So, how was your trip?

• Umm... good!

• And how are they, those Americans?

• Yeah, they're fine.

For almost 3 months now, I've been having these dialogues with everyone who follows me on Instagram. Honestly, I just don't know where to start my story, or how to answer questions like:

A) Why did you go? I wouldn't have come back.

B) Is it better over there than here?

C) Haven't you forgotten your Russian?

D) What are they saying about Putin there?

And all in that vein.

In four months, so many stories have piled up that it's scary to think about. It's one thing to go on a 14-day vacation where your hotel is booked, dinner is prepared for you at a restaurant, and a sunbed is 'reserved' for you at the beach. It's quite another to fly alone to a foreign country and not know for those first 14 days where you'll live, what to eat, and how to communicate with people who are always smiling and asking how you are (yes, you don't know each other, but that doesn't change the situation).

Chap.1: “Ready. Steady... Smile”

Probably everyone has heard at least once how cheerful the people living across the ocean are. You can, of course, talk all you want about how it's all hypocrisy and fakeness, and that 'smiling to your face, they'll eventually throw a stone at your back.' Well... Maybe that's true, but seeing happy faces is still pleasant. And thank God, no one has thrown any stones at me. Nevertheless, if you are, for example, from Russia, be prepared to experience a 'little shock' from the overwhelming number of satisfied faces on the streets of America.

Chap.2: I’m so sorry!

They always apologize. Everywhere. Just because. Most likely, you weren't bumped into, pushed, stepped on, or even cut in line, but just in case, it's better to apologize. Funny people.

And also, as I already said, Americans always ask how you are. This doesn't mean they actually want to know what's happening in your life. On the contrary: the question 'How are you?' is nothing more than an addition to a greeting. That's it. But! If you are from Russia, before your trip to America, it will be useful to learn a few correct answers to such a question:

· Good. And you?

· Fine. And you?

· Ok. And you?

And remember: no apathy!

Chap.3: Oh, darling!

It also takes a lot of time to get used to strangers addressing you as: 'Hi dear!' Just... What kind of 'dear' am I to you? Olga Alexandrovna, please. And it's better not to even mention the name))

• What's your name?
• Olya.
• Whaaaaaaat?
• Olga.
• Ah! OLGA!

In general, if something even remotely resembling my name came out, I didn't argue. A Chinese guy called me LG! Yes, yes, just like the microwave. But that's nothing. Ksyusha had more serious problems. So, if your name is Ksenia, in America you will most likely be called:

a) Kisenia b) Kasinia c) Iksinia d) Ksina e) Susha

For the Chinese, KASIMINA.

That's how we lived: LG and Kasimina. Just like out of a Chinese folk tale.

#usatoday #tobecontinued