In limbo. Up in the air. Even when skydiving, there isn't this much uncertainty and the unknown.

No safety net. I can't buy a ticket to Moscow. I don't know who to arrange things with from Couchsurfing, and I don't even have time to think.

I'm barely managing to quit my job. I told a bunch of lies to the girls so I wouldn't jinx it, but I told the truth to my boss. He still made me work a 3-day notice. I had to scramble to find a replacement. I was running around all day, and by evening, I realized I forgot the discount card I needed to return :( (30 percent off, after all.) Now I have to get up tomorrow and go sign the clearance sheet.

I thought the worst part was waiting for the talk with the counselor. But there are worse places, namely the dentist's chair. I didn't just not fear them before; I actually liked them. But since this year, problems started, apparently because of all the stress, and I've had to visit that doctor quite often.

It's the worst. 2 hours in a dentist's chair is too much even for me. They were re-treating a tooth. Only the 3rd anesthesia, injected directly into the nerve, worked. It was painful to the point of tears. And by the end, her chair even broke. Horrifying.

Such a strange state. Living out of suitcases and up in the air. Waiting for answers. And they just won't come.