I think this is the last page... A few words about Russia, which I never stopped comparing to America and which, I think, I understood (although a genius once said: "Russia cannot be understood with the mind") a little bit more... Russians are so proud of their mentality, their unique character, that it becomes sad. And what is the most striking feature of this character? The ability to fool anyone in any situation! Wow! Found something to be proud of. (By the way, in Brooklyn, where most of the Russian-speaking population of NY is concentrated, the cost of car insurance is much higher than in other parts of the city... why? because Russians have learned to deceive insurance companies).

In America, my resentment towards the Russian-speaking population intensified... Brighton Beach Avenue is a symbol of Russia. You look around - signs with mistakes, you look straight ahead - poorly dressed people with angry faces choosing a Dontsova book, the disgusting smell of this street made me run away from it, and most importantly - you can't see the sky. Instead of it, a piece of the subway track... Iron on this street replaces the endless blue space... But if you look to the side, the infinity of the beautiful, the infinity of the ocean will open up to your gaze...

The only thing I missed in America, as it turned out, was the real Russian language. Not mutilated by people for whom it was never native and not diluted by other languages in the heads of people for whom it has ceased to be native (who say "come tomorrow and we will be seeing" and "have a good day"), but the real one...

I still haven't taken my exams because I'm too lazy to read. I'm writing this blog to return to the past and relive everything all over again. I can't react normally to the changes happening in my life because I just don't have the strength. I can't force myself to go to university because I'm constantly sleepy. I look at the ocean in a picture and I feel disgusted looking out the window at reality. I don't want to talk to people because they won't understand my sadness and longing.

I miss this country, I miss Miami... I haven't missed any person the way I miss this city, I miss its unbearable heat, its blue salty water.

I feel an emptiness inside me because only my body returned to Russia, while all my desires, thoughts, and dreams were taken by America and Miami. I will return there someday, I promise...

Thanks to those who read at least something.