Night. 00:57

I want to scream at the top of my lungs, throw something heavy into the distance, and wring someone's neck!

But I can't. Why? What for? Would it make me feel better? Well, in theory... But you have to do it when no one is looking. I see that everyone is nervous about the upcoming trip, but let them think I'm calm and confident in everything. Maybe at least that will calm them down, well... it would calm me down.

No, everything will be fine! I believe in it! Maybe not right away, but later, it will be exactly as I want it to be! (:

Morning. 10:25

Went to bed at 2:30, woke up at 10. Read Vova's text about the start of their check-in, which they apparently started at 03:51.

No email about their layover in Rome has arrived. A slight panic is setting in, completely stupid thoughts are creeping in, I feel nauseous and my eyes are watering. What is this?? I have never experienced such a feeling before, it is unfamiliar to me and I don't know what to do with it! But I think it's called Fear.

Today, any ridiculous incident could knock me off this thin thread of a positive mood. And Grandma's tears and worries about what's coming have already hit me, and now the main thing is to hold on.

Date May 10, 0:57