Dreams—they are reborn from early childhood. I don't even know why, but one of my biggest dreams became visiting America. When people ask me to share my American experience, I never tire of telling my long, yet instructive story. As a 6th-grade student in my city, I saw a poster for the International Exchange Center. I tore it off the street, brought it home, and glued photos of former participants who had traveled through the program onto the faces in the poster. Looking at that poster, I always visualized. The dream of visiting America grew every day. A few years later, my cousin went on this program. And I just waited, unable to wait until I became a student. I saw only one path: Work and Travel. I didn't even consider other options.

September 2011... The happy moment had finally arrived. I received a grant to study at the L.N. Gumilyov Eurasian National University. Arriving at the university on September 2nd, my attention was drawn to an office located across from the bus stop. I had that poster in my bag; opening it, I was overjoyed to find it was the very same office. An office that turns dreams into reality. That same day after classes, I went in; I remember a green-eyed guy was sitting there. I was ready to register, but I had just turned 17 that month. According to the program rules, you must be of legal age by June. I didn't want to believe it, I asked him to double-check, but it changed nothing. He said goodbye and added that he would wait for me next year.

October 2012... I had a friend (not a boyfriend) who also wanted to go on this program. We teamed up and submitted an application. All we needed to do was find a "Job offer," which at the time seemed very easy. My friend didn't do anything, asking me to make two contracts if I found a job. I had to think for both of us. I started quite late, which I don't recommend to future participants. I found the first job on the internet from a guy, but his job offer wasn't confirmed because the employer was Kazakh. They justified it by saying there would be no cultural exchange.

It was already February–March. I also found some girls from Karaganda on the internet. They told me to transfer the full amount and said they would only start looking after that. There was no other way out; time was running out. The first offer they found wasn't confirmed, and then one after another, they all failed. On May 30th, she called me and said she had no more offers and none of them were being approved. For those 3 months, she kept calming me down with her "It will definitely be confirmed tomorrow." This so-called "friend" refused to continue, wrote a withdrawal, and went home. I decided not to give up and to go to the end. I was ready to pay even $1000 for an offer, as long as it was confirmed in one day. I found another job, and it was confirmed on June 20th. I waited for my interview date. It was agonizing. Everyone had left, I was alone in Astana, waiting from morning till night for any information from the embassy.

July 1, 2013... There were 6 of us. I was the first to go to the consul. And what do you think?! I was denied. Then it turned out that not only I, but all the other 5 were denied as well. All my plans for the summer were tied to America, and then bam, your dream collapses in a single day...

Summer 2012... I returned to my hometown. At that time, most of my acquaintances were in the States, and even one acquaintance for whom I had found an offer—strangely enough, he was alone, so I offered him the one I had found initially. I looked at photos of the girls I knew, because they had suggested going together; I didn't want to change my mind since I had decided to go with my friend. There are many sad and painful details in this story, but I don't want to focus your attention on all of that, and I don't want to remember it myself. The main thing is that I didn't blame anyone and took it as a test of fate.

After thinking a lot at the end of the summer, while leaving for Astana, I told my parents that I wanted to try again, letting them know this was my last chance. The phrase: "The weak will say 'It wasn't meant to be.' The strong will say 'I will try again.' And the strongest will say 'I will keep trying until everything is the way I want it'" motivated me. They were hesitant because of the lost money, but they still gave their blessing, not even asking where all the money from last time went for job offers and the program, for which I am infinitely grateful to them.