• So, how was the trip?

• Umm... good!

• And how are they, those Americans?

• Yeah, they're fine.

For almost 3 months now, I've been having these dialogues with everyone who follows me on Instagram. Honestly, I just don't know where to start my story and how to answer questions like:

A) Why did you go? I wouldn't have come back.

B) Is it better over there than here?

C) Haven't you forgotten your Russian?

D) What are they saying about Putin there?

And all in that vein.

In four months, so many stories have piled up that it's scary to think about. It's one thing to go on a 14-day vacation where a hotel is booked, dinner is prepared for you at a restaurant, and a sunbed is 'reserved' for your room at the beach. And it's quite another to fly alone to a foreign country and not know for those first 14 days where you'll live, what to eat, and how to communicate with people who are always smiling and asking how you are (yes, you don't know each other, but that doesn't change the situation).

Chap.1: «Ready. Steady... Smile»

Probably everyone has heard at least once how cheerful people are across the ocean. You can, of course, talk all you want about how it's all hypocrisy and fakeness, and that 'smiling in your face, they'll throw a stone at your back someday.' Well... Maybe that's true, but seeing happy faces is still pleasant. And thank God, no one has thrown any stones at me. Nevertheless, if you are, for example, from Russia, be prepared to experience a 'little shock' from the overwhelming number of satisfied faces on the streets of America.

Chap.2: I’m so sorry!

They always apologize. Everywhere. Just because. Most likely, you weren't bumped into, pushed, stepped on, or even cut off in line, but just in case, it's better to apologize. Funny people.

And also, as I already said, Americans always ask how you are. This doesn't mean at all that they actually want to know what's happening in your life. On the contrary: the question 'How are you?' is nothing more than an addition to a greeting. And that's it. But! If you are from Russia, before your trip to America, it will be useful to learn a few correct answers to such a question:

· Good. And you?

· Fine. And you?

· Ok. And you?

And remember: no apathy!

Chap.3: Oh, darling!

It also takes a lot of time to get used to the fact that strangers can address you as: 'Hi dear!' Just... What kind of 'dear' am I to you??? Olga Alexandrovna, please. And it's better not to even mention the name))

• What's your name?

• Olya.

• Whaaaaaaat?

• Olga.

• Ah! OLGA!

In general, if something even remotely resembling my name came out, I didn't argue. A Chinese guy called me LG! Yes, yes, just like a microwave. But that's nothing. Ksyusha had more serious problems. So, if your name is Ksenia, then in America you will most likely be called:

a) Kisenia

b) Kasinia

c) Iksinia

d) Ksina

e) Sushia

For the Chinese, KASIMINA.

That's how we lived: LG and Kasimina. Just like from a Chinese folk tale.

#usatoday #tobecontinued