July 16. A Red Letter Day on the Calendar. 08:30 (LA) Worried that I might be late for my first (how does that sound, damn) shoot, I jumped out of bed. The anticipation is exciting)
11:00 (LA) After reaching the right subway station, out of nervousness and confused thoughts, I turned the wrong way. Only after walking two blocks did I silently turn 180 degrees, slap my forehead (to which a Mexican man walking toward me responded with a huge smile), and quicken my pace.
11:45 (LA) Found the building. It turned out to be "SunSet Bronson Studio". A black man with an earpiece and a stack of folders led me to the waiting area and gave me a form to fill out...
And suddenly... I see a huge red crab in front of me, with a penguin holding its hand...
OMG! I went crazy with happiness... And behind them stand two plump elderly women in white knee-high socks, pleated mini-skirts, and ties! A couple of huge thermometers are crossing the street!
Four fat black men dressed as girls and one black Spider-Man, chatting nicely nearby, finally make me squint and make sure I haven't lost my mind.
These people came to film the same show as me. And against their background, it is ME who looks like a freak! After all, I'm wearing worn-out denim shorts and a regular human pink shirt...
11:50 (LA) They stick name tags on our clothes (or, excuse me, on some people's SHELLS OR COVERS). While spelling out my "Svetlana", I notice the intense stares of two guys who are just as "crazy, but dressed normally" as I am. I read their "Alex" and "Dmitry" with interest and smile a huge smile: how nice it is to meet fellow countrymen in this zoo.
The guys turned out to be from Belarus) They are in their fourth year. We are alike in some ways;) The three of us were loudly and, most importantly, LOUDLY discussing all the details of the "foreigners'" menagerie costumes and laughing! Still, the "Russian Language is great and mighty"!)
12:30 (LA) We were finally let into the studio - it's huge, spacious, and full of cameras of various sizes and shapes. A nice girl was seating us; she tried to change my seat, but my "We together" saved the day, and we stayed together to share our impressions.
Before the filming started and during breaks, a guy specifically hired for this was clowning around in front of the audience; his task, as we understood, was to maintain the audience's positive, crazy mood.
Periodically, he would pick someone in a costume and force them to dance. Although, "force" is a strong word, since the majority were literally dying to move every part of their body and scream:)
Yes... The Russian mentality clearly wouldn't allow us to behave so freely, loosely, and uninhibitedly in an unfamiliar group. It was SOMETHING; we all collectively regretted that we weren't allowed to bring phones or cameras. Although only a video camera could convey the entire crazy atmosphere reigning in the hall!!!
13:30 (LA) The director came out - in glasses, with an earpiece, with a goatee - they all look the same:) He rehearsed the following commands with us:
- Applause
- Applause with shouting
- Applause with shouting and laughter
- Loud laughter
- Quiet laughter
- Fading laughter
- Booing
As it turned out, the audience was knowledgeable. A black man sitting nearby who was laughing forcedly caused the same wild laughter.
So, we are starting! The host's entrance (by the way, also black) made the whole hall stand up and simulate a wild fit of happiness! Surprisingly, there were no retakes - everything was done on the first try. Except for one case when a participant pulled her hat too far over her eyes and couldn't be seen in the frame.
The essence of the show: Bringing out one or two people from the audience (naturally, in costumes), the host offered a choice: "either money or a prize" (yes, the association with "Pole Chudes" visited us too). The options were different: from simply raising the price to a raffle. We periodically had to shout to prompt the player on what to choose. Everything goes fun and dynamically, so you don't even notice the time!
As it turned out later, the show "Lets make a deal" is very popular in the USA. Which flattered us:) Next time it was decided to dress up as the same idiots to win money:)
15:00 (LA) I jumped to the ceiling and screamed wildly: a middle-aged woman, a "clown", having refused 2 thousand dollars, won... A CAR! A big SUV!!! Huge!!! That's where the real emotions are, that's where the drive is!!!! Here we were definitely convinced that shows of this kind are not rigged, and that it is quite realistic for ordinary mortals to have such happiness fall on their heads!
Besides that, the prizes were trips, kitchens, motorcycles, TVs, etc. A beautiful assistant girl opened the doors behind which all this was stored and showed all the advantages of this or that gift.
Need I say how the poor Russian students were drooling and clenching their fists with resentment and envy at what they saw? After all, we can't participate for one reason: we are not such IDIOTS as they are... Although, that's a debatable question...
15:30 (LA) After a ten-minute break, we record the second show. It's not as interesting anymore, but we still watch everything with our mouths open. For the last contest, the host gave out a hundred dollars to those who met his small, impromptu requirements. For example, a woman received money because she accidentally had a movie ticket in her bag. And another lucky woman managed to get car keys with a "hook". That's how it is:) And with such sponsorship support, they only pay $8 an hour. Although.... As I noticed later, I would have paid much more just to see THIS. Because it's worth it...
17:30 (LA) After exchanging addresses with the guys, I went to Yulia at the "Smog Shop", where she was working part-time today. Emotions were overflowing, and I poured them out on her almost at a run:) It's a pity she didn't feel it:)
19:00 (LA) Her boss was an hour late. And at 20:00 we have a photo training. Having managed to grab a bite at "Cofee Been", we took the subway.
20:00 (LA) Thanks to my beloved neighbor, I know how to turn on the Canon 450. We took pictures of each other, learned how to work with a printer and a huge flash, and watched Arpine - also a photographer - work. We even met some Russian waitress girls. And all this in an Armenian restaurant. It was decided that this weekend I won't leave my place at "Talisman" vacant, and from next Friday I'll start here. Yulia is starting tomorrow:)
00:00 (LA) Employer Samvel drives us to the subway and wishes us a safe trip. Tired but full of impressions, we chat the whole way until it's time to part ways.
This was a successful day in all respects. So far the brightest in all 2 months in the USA:)
July 17. Happy Birthday, Tanya! 09:00 (LA) Leaving for work. Today everything is the same: two banquets, mountains of dishes, and me. Alone.
A pressing question: whether to stay... Or go to Samvel. A tough choice.
21:30 (LA) Time to get ready! "From the ship to the ball!" - I say to Gulya and disappear into the office. Thirty minutes later, dirty shorts and a t-shirt are replaced by an evening dress, worn-out ballet flats by new heels, hair gathered in a bun by a curly hairstyle. Nails remember the manicure and favorite polish, and the face remembers makeup:)
"You are our Cinderella" - Oleg said to me when I came out. And indeed, lost in thought, I washed my glass with my favorite ring on my finger:)
Managed to dance behind the bar and have a drink.
Alena and Jeff, together with the birthday girl, picked me up, and we went to a club in Hollywood. The line turned out to be huge, and we also paid $20 each for entry. But it was worth it:)
We had a good time - loud music, a single organism moving to its beat, and light! This is a vacation! This is a blast!!! I just wanted to shout: "We are in California, baby!".
02:00 (LA) The most terrible thing is the law. No drinking after two. No dancing after two. After two - sleep!!! And in Russia, we are just starting to wake up. And no one will let us into the dorm until 6:00:)
03:00 (LA) For the first time we saw traffic in the parking lot - that was a hot disco!
We want an auto-party!!! We want-want-want! No problem - we have a pool. Let's change and swim! And take pictures! "Just sh-h-h-h, the manager might hear!" - Alena warns).
July 18 09:30 (LA) Thanks to student life for teaching me not to need sleep. Despite the night adventures, work and earnings come first. At least Gulya met me halfway and picked me up herself:) An understanding woman!
15:00 (LA) Today is three times harder. Zhenya is not here - she went to her mom's until the evening. And I am alone helping in the kitchen. No time, no strength. Only I am responsible for many dishes today. Gulya praises me - says that I am capable and if it goes like this, she will leave Zhenya and me alone in September and go on vacation for a week or two. Nice to hear that, damn:)
18:00 (LA) It started! Mommy, how hard it is for me!
While washing the next batch of plates, I do a mental count (it's not for nothing that physics and math taught me for two years) of the number of plates washed in the evening. Then I decide that I will definitely record all this at home. Here are the results: Number of people at the banquet: 37
Number of plates: 74 (two for each - large and small)
Changing plates: 2 times, that is: 74 multiplied by 2 = 148
Total: 148+72=220
Plus large dishes (there are eight stations on the table, therefore, each dish is laid out on 8 plates).
Their list: (what I remember exactly)
- Green salad
- Crab salad
- Pickles
- Sea Food
- Potatoes with mushrooms
- Manti
- Plov
- Pancakes
- Salted mushrooms
- Olivier
- "Tashkent" salad
- Shashlik
- Salmon
- Herring
- Watermelon
- Berries (strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, here also - grapes)
- Cake
- Chocolate assortment
- Flatbreads
Seems like that's all...
So, the result: 18 multiplied by 8 = 144
Plus small plates for sour cream, mustard, caviar, sauce: 4 multiplied by 8 = 32
And these are just plates. The number of glasses, shot glasses, cups, pitchers, countless forks-spoons-knives, pitchers, teapots, cups, pots, huge frying pans, basins, containers, skewers, oven sheets, lids, etc., etc. is not included here.
It is much more realistic and easier to count the plates.
Total: 220+144+32=396
Plates manage to leave before 00:00, the rest of the time the guests drink and dance. The banquet starts at 18:00, that is, the first dirty dishes appear around 20:00. Thus, there are four hours.
There are 60 minutes in an hour: 4 multiplied by 60 = 240 minutes.
In order to calculate the possible speed of washing plates, we divide their number by the time: 396/240 = 1.65 plates per minute.
If you also take into account everything listed above, it becomes scary.
23:30 (LA) Tired to the point of impossibility - I don't feel my legs, my hands and back hurt terribly. Cuts on my fingers sting from the detergent. Dishes flash before my eyes.
I go outside and start crying - my strength is gone. I swallow my tears, overcoming the desire to call and complain to my mom.... Yes, this is not how I imagined life in California...
July 19
13:00 (LA) Slept off for two days! Woke up to Yulia's call:) Hooray! Today we are going to the ocean!!!
15:00 (LA) Spent half an hour looking for the right bus stop. Realized we were late. And only on the bus, about to call Yulia, did we discover the absence of our phones! Their presence at home is undeniable, but that doesn't console us.
16:30 (LA) And yet we met!
17:00 (LA) Ocean waves, seagulls soaring in the sky, sun, smiling tourists - all this creates an atmosphere of resort carelessness... With the desire to "wet our feet", we almost all end up in salt water - and our swimsuits stayed at home!!! Having laughed from the heart and walked barefoot on the warm sand, we were satisfied with the day and each other's company:)
20:30 (LA) Tanya and I are at Hollywood & Highland. We see a crowd gathering. Everything is fenced off around the Kodak Theatre and there are many, many security guards. People have cameras and notebooks in their hands.
- What is going to happen here? - we ask the first man we meet
- Everyone is waiting for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, who are currently at the pre-premiere of the movie "Salt", where Jolie plays the lead role.
And we will wait, and we will!!! And we want to!!!
Stood for a long time... After an hour or an hour and a half, it became less crowded, but still not very comfortable. Met a girl from Korea - gave her my email to send photos (due to our lack of a camera). It was fun and thrilling... Some pompously dressed people walked by, waved their hands at the crowd, some were even recognized.
Cars were brought up for everyone - mostly black SUVs. It seemed that we were present at some important event for Hollywood: people are shouting, taking pictures of everyone in a row... But they are waiting only for them. Brangelinaaaa!!!
But it wasn't meant to be. Just as we decided that the limousines standing nearby "are definitely waiting for our stars", one cheerful security guard informed us that they had already left through another exit... The crowd roared... How long we waited for them...
And only when they started collecting the iron fences did we trudge towards the subway...
What a damn bummer...
July 20 Almost bought a netbook for myself... But "it seems it's not fate, it seems it's not fate" - the electronics store system refused to accept a Russian card...
So, my dears, don't expect me here anytime soon...:(
